Sex is an eternal and natural emotion. A feeling which can be extremely blissful when you’ve the perfect partner. It is the culmination of mutual trust and love. In our society, discussing love, getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend and love marriage were looked down upon and much criticized even some forty years ago. Our parents understood that there’s nothing wrong with falling in love and love marriage slowly became a regular and normal thing (at least in most parts of the country). But SEX, this three-letter word is still considered a taboo and when it comes to pre-marital sex, most of us hesitate even to talk about the issue. But is it really that bad a thing to establish physical relation with someone before you get married?
Well, I think the tendency of stigmatizing pre-marital sex is not justified at all. After all, it is all about individual choice and opinion. I respect those who choose to wait for sex until they’re attached by wedlock. If you love someone you can wait for that blissful moment and as Aristotle said,”Patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet”. But at the same time, I’ve no disrespect for those who come up with the decision to have sex before marriage. Provided that two adult individuals know each other for a long time and a bond of trust and love exists between them along with responsibility, having sex is quite natural and I don’t find it unethical or immoral. But the question is, is it easy to differentiate between love and lust or infatuation? The answer is NO and there lies the dangerous consequences which pre-marital sex can invite. Let’s go through this fictional piece of poetry and you’ll understand my point.
There was a girl named Bella, beautiful and fair
She was the centre of attraction, everywhere
She grew up to be more lovable and liberal
A lot of friends and lovers, but not all of them were real.
Deeply in love, with one of them
Their romance, a burning flame.
“Touch me more”, said the boy, “with all you’ve…..”
“Let’s learn together, the lessons of love”.
The girl believed him and let him know
The essence of her womanhood, love made her glow
“No more a virgin but a woman fulfilled,
I feel no remorse, neither guilt”.
Fiery passion was there but Destiny played with her
After a few months, she was on her way to be a mother.
Her lover blatantly denied his role and dumped her
Those passion and love, she paid for them, a dream afar
Tears and agony reaped her apart, remorse and sorrow
She sacrificed her unborn child for a better tomorrow.
Though Bella is a fictional character but this can be the story of any girl. Premarital sex can be disastrous, especially for girls. Unwanted pregnancy, social stigma, emotional upheaval and the fear of getting infected by sexually transmitted diseases, come as a package along with pre-marital sex. Even after having protected sex, fear of getting pregnant or diseases can’t be ruled out completely. In our society, girls suffer most from such relationships. Cases of blackmailing and threats are also quite common and can ruin one’s social as well as conjugal life later on.
According to me, the word ‘risk’ is always associated with pre-marital sex. All of us don’t have that mental ability to face the consequences. A successful and good pre-marital sex relation depends upon several factors: mutual respect, love, responsibility, trust and time. Before taking any decision, one should consider all these factors and if one’s partner fails to comply with any one of these, it’s better to step down. I’ll only say “YES” to premarital sex when I’ve no doubt in my mind about my partner. It’s no momentary decision for me and if both my heart and brain don’t sing their consent in unison for it, it’s a big “NO” for me. “Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex”, rightly said by Hunter S Thompson and I won’t mind waiting for my true love to experience the most wonderful recreation for re-creation….sex.
Buy Poonaam Uppal’s engrossing tale of finding love A Passionaate Gospel of True Love: A Mystical True Love Story.
This post is an entry for the contest YES or NO to Pre-Marital Sex in association with Indiblogger and A Passionaate Gospel of True Love
Beautiful post
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Nice
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Finding true love is like an eternal process for some. Yes it is very risky to get into such relations. You spoke about risk for the girl, but today they have abortion, they have pills but guys are at more risks today. They have rape case against then..that is how most of the rapes are filed in India..
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Truly I agree with you here Maniparna 🙂 Very well said and one thing that to prepare yourself mentally for the consequences is what that is needed the most! All the best 🙂
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Thanks Saurabh for sharing your views….well said 🙂
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I think it’s time that we should talk openly about it. Women are vulnerable in most cases of premarital sex. Good that you pointed that out.The poem is beautiful.
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Yes, you’re right …..the risk remains with the women and society does play a vital role in it. Thanks for sharing your views 🙂
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I would say to each his/her own!
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🙂
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Love, relationship and sex…are very private, and it is between two persons who understand and respect each other’s privacy and if they are matured, it is purely their choice…dignity, trust and respect is essential to any human being. It is a very special feeling and it should be respected by each and everybody…
The taboo needs to be broken and we need to expand our horizon of thinking and living…we should allow our natural emotions to flow…
Good that you have raised some very important points and it is high time we start discussing and creating better awareness and understanding on the subject..
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Thanks Nihar for sharing your valuable views. I’ve said almost the same thing. It’s a matter of personal choice and should be respected by others. No need of moral policing, rather, we need sex-education.
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Yes, I have endorsed your thoughts… we should have the freedom and also respect it too…given the rules and boundaries, people have the right to exercise their choices…we shy away from speaking on the topic resulting in wrong doing…good that you brought out the topic for discussion…
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Hope more and more people will think in this way…for the well-being of the society as a whole…
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I think, society is evolving faster than we thought and we all are maturing in our thoughts and dealing…
Hope is the force of life…
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Very beautifully put. The bella incident is perfectly penned. very very true and to the point.
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Thank you so much… 🙂
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Truly said Maniparna, the story of Bella is an eye opener….
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Thanks Alok. Our world is not safe for women…be it premarital sex or anything…
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THAT is always a problem – especially when both people do not have identical views of where the relationship is going
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Exactly…that’s why I think mutual trust, love and responsibility play big roles…
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It all comes down to our society, again. What will our society say!!! I think that has always been the case.
Good luck with the contest !!! 😉
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Thanks Anoop…..I’ve thrown some light on the ‘risk’ factors, especially for women. To me society comes second, personal safety, security and well-being come first… 🙂
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Still didn’t you think it is unsafe for women partly cos of our society. I am sure you and many of us do.
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Yes, I agree, society needs to change its mindset….but society is consist of us only and if we change ourselves, society will change, slowly but surely ….and, hopefully 🙂
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Yes, the society has a mixture of all of us. So I don’t see this changing at least of 30 -40 years. But yeah hopefully 🙂
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beautiful Maniparna.. i feel more than pre-marital sex, it is the consequences which lead to social stigma needs to be known. and that is where sex-education comes in. But when will our politicians and religious fanatics let people be normal about it.
and i simply loved your poem.
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Thanks Lata, one must ponder over the consequences. It’s especially worst for girls. And you’re right.. sex-education can bring a lot of change…but alas…we, the moral Indians !!
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