Sex is an eternal and natural emotion. A feeling which can be extremely blissful when you’ve the perfect partner. It is the culmination of mutual trust and love. In our society, discussing love, getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend and love marriage were looked down upon and much criticized even some forty years ago. Our parents understood that there’s nothing wrong with falling in love and love marriage slowly became a regular and normal thing (at least in most parts of the country). But SEX, this three-letter word is still considered a taboo and when it comes to pre-marital sex, most of us hesitate even to talk about the issue. But is it really that bad a thing to establish physical relation with someone before you get married?
Well, I think the tendency of stigmatizing pre-marital sex is not justified at all. After all, it is all about individual choice and opinion. I respect those who choose to wait for sex until they’re attached by wedlock. If you love someone you can wait for that blissful moment and as Aristotle said,”Patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet”. But at the same time, I’ve no disrespect for those who come up with the decision to have sex before marriage. Provided that two adult individuals know each other for a long time and a bond of trust and love exists between them along with responsibility, having sex is quite natural and I don’t find it unethical or immoral. But the question is, is it easy to differentiate between love and lust or infatuation? The answer is NO and there lies the dangerous consequences which pre-marital sex can invite. Let’s go through this fictional piece of poetry and you’ll understand my point.
There was a girl named Bella, beautiful and fair
She was the centre of attraction, everywhere
She grew up to be more lovable and liberal
A lot of friends and lovers, but not all of them were real.
Deeply in love, with one of them
Their romance, a burning flame.
“Touch me more”, said the boy, “with all you’ve…..”
“Let’s learn together, the lessons of love”.
The girl believed him and let him know
The essence of her womanhood, love made her glow
“No more a virgin but a woman fulfilled,
I feel no remorse, neither guilt”.
Fiery passion was there but Destiny played with her
After a few months, she was on her way to be a mother.
Her lover blatantly denied his role and dumped her
Those passion and love, she paid for them, a dream afar
Tears and agony reaped her apart, remorse and sorrow
She sacrificed her unborn child for a better tomorrow.
Though Bella is a fictional character but this can be the story of any girl. Premarital sex can be disastrous, especially for girls. Unwanted pregnancy, social stigma, emotional upheaval and the fear of getting infected by sexually transmitted diseases, come as a package along with pre-marital sex. Even after having protected sex, fear of getting pregnant or diseases can’t be ruled out completely. In our society, girls suffer most from such relationships. Cases of blackmailing and threats are also quite common and can ruin one’s social as well as conjugal life later on.
According to me, the word ‘risk’ is always associated with pre-marital sex. All of us don’t have that mental ability to face the consequences. A successful and good pre-marital sex relation depends upon several factors: mutual respect, love, responsibility, trust and time. Before taking any decision, one should consider all these factors and if one’s partner fails to comply with any one of these, it’s better to step down. I’ll only say “YES” to premarital sex when I’ve no doubt in my mind about my partner. It’s no momentary decision for me and if both my heart and brain don’t sing their consent in unison for it, it’s a big “NO” for me. “Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex”, rightly said by Hunter S Thompson and I won’t mind waiting for my true love to experience the most wonderful recreation for re-creation….sex.
Buy Poonaam Uppal’s engrossing tale of finding love A Passionaate Gospel of True Love: A Mystical True Love Story.