The sudden change in the weather poked the sun and it began to fade away….from bright yellow to an awkward orange and then a filthy brown, forcing the afternoon to retire earlier. A gust of wind, leaves got wings and the hat was blown from his head. He turned his face, to trace the hat as it had already joined the fleet of dry leaves and dust. The sudden storm heralded a downpour and the flying hat was enjoying the unprecedented independence. He was almost running to tame his hat. Just then the whistle of the approaching train was heard, I looked up in anticipation, caught a glance of his face and everything disappeared but the station.
A glance and memories surged, as sharp as a blade. Those brown eyes,that deep gaze and aquiline nose.The clock ticked back.
He was not at all willing to shift the base from one city to another. To him that meant shifting of culture and food habit, a gourmet as he was, the latter being always his priority. I was determined not to miss that golden opportunity with an enormous hike and much higher designation.
Was it my pride? Was I demanding more than that the destiny had in store for us ? Was that the reason he left me ?
It was a plight to be parted, even if for a few months. A feeling of fullness encompassed both of our minds whenever we were together. His presence used to inebriate my soul. Those brown eyes, that deep gaze……the synonym of life was love.
We were waiting for his train.”Now please stop making a straight face and give me a quick peck” were his parting words. I refused for I was fighting hard to conceal my emotions. I wanted to stop him. I wanted to shout frantically saying ” Don’t go, I’m sorry, we’ll live in this city, forever “. But I remained silent. He looked hurt and sad. The train whistled and slowly disappeared in the distance. I cried hard.
That was the last time I cried.
After a few hours the train which He boarded got derailed. No one was alive in his compartment.With stony eyes I identified his body.
I didn’t cry.
Another gust of wind and a few drops of rain jolted me back to reality.
Whistling again, the serpentine train stopped in vain. The man finally managed his hat and was about to board the train. I looked up at him again. Definitely he had striking resemblance with my man and he was boarding the train. I must smile this time. I waved at him and smiled. Though bewildered, he smiled and waved back.
Large drops of rain were hurling down. I stood up. I wanted to cry…with all my might. I wanted to hide myself in the rain. I started a journey unknown …….and I missed my train.
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
Are yaar kaha se aaya ye.just brilliant 🙂
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Well Mani, Intrigued by the title I was waiting for leisure to read this post of yours…. my wait is rewarded … you have woven a poignant tale… one line which stood out for me AND you also have done it in Italics- This time I must smile… heart wrenching !This one line and this one gesture of her is …. heart wrenching..
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Your thoughts always sing in unison with me…:-) what can I say..thank you so much for reading ..hugs .. 🙂
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A powerful story!
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Thanks dear … 🙂
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I can write a post full of appreciation for this one. Sorry for bookmarking it and reading it now. Mani i mean the chain thought, the words all gripped me to read till the end. Beautiful, splendid and truly amazing. I want to read more of this now.
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Now feeling like doing some *happy dancing* 😀 …you yourself write so well Shweta…especially these sort of short fictions…. real pleasure to have such inspiring words from you…. 🙂
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You put a lot into that writing – a very engaging style, keeping the scene sharp and the pace moving by not dwelling too much on added description – but the picture was clear. The tory itself was very good, and I very much liked the not crying after the derailment – to me that was a very deep point, after the earlier sentimentalism. I also thought that was very clever to bring in the passenger that looked like him. That touch of irony is very difficult to do and something I enjoy in writing. Very nicely done, then, scene well-set, atmosphere, tension, and philosophy explored.
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Thanks for explaining your views so precisely. Yes, not crying after the derailment was a significant point to me too….for I wanted to convey to the readers her deep shock and misery which petrified all her emotions. Glad you noticed that 🙂 …and also the subtle touch of irony…..
It brings out the real pleasure of writing when someone appreciates it in such an elaborate fashion….I’m really honoured 🙂
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The title is very catchy T(rain) .. and you have managed both elements very well.. a quick journey form present to past and then again present… its a flow of thoughts showing resemblance with rain fall.. loved the story .. barsat ki ek shaam 🙂 and yes I think I wont ever dare to smile and wave to a stranger 😛
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Thanks Bhavana …nice to know you’ve enjoyed the story… 🙂
..and not even me… these things only happen in fiction… 😛
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Short and packed with powerful words. Very well written Maniparna.
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Thanks dear… 🙂
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A poignant tale… Touching!
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Thanks Bush… 🙂
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Touching tale, Mani. Congrats for WOW 🙂
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Thanks Anita…same to you… 🙂
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Wow… That goes straight to the heart 🙂 Take a bow!
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Aww..thanks so much for the compliment… 🙂
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Well written Maniparna. As Alok said it’s a nice usage of Rain and Train and you put up the ending well. Liked “A gust of wind, leaves got wings” could feel the narration and I also liked “the synonym of life was love.” Good going 🙂
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Thanks Vinay…glad you liked the way the narration has been described… 🙂
Alok and you have become BBB I think… ( Best Blog Buddies ) 😀 😛
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Ha ha ha 😀 .. Id like to think so too Maniparna :). He is damn neat person, and so knowledgeable and ever ready to help 🙂
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Yes..he is.. 🙂 I agree totally…
Now Alok..are you listening that we are praising you so highly ? 😀 😀
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He he 😀
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😀
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Oh my god, some people are talking so many good things about me 🙂 🙂 Great to hear all this, Maniparna and Vinay. Thank you so much 🙂
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🙂 welcome
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Touching and a beautifully written post maniparna …hope you never miss a train again ..
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Thank you… it was not a fictional me … 😀
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Nice
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A touching tale… is she happy she missed the train or is she sad… there are no easy/simple answers.
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Some things in life remain unanswered… 🙂 Thanks Nimi … 🙂
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What a touching tale you weave here, Maniparna! Beautiful expression of pain, regret, and a special kind of hope too. Loved it.
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Yes, a special kind of hope..you’ve rightly observed Beloo 🙂 ….thank you so much for sharing your views.. 🙂
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That was a very touching story, so little words so profound an emotion
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Thanks Datta for stopping by… 🙂
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Nice post Maniparna… You seriously used the word rain and train in a very good way… 🙂
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Thank you Alok…
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Very well crafted, touching story. 🙂
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Thanks Gaurab.. 🙂
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That was a moving tale – and quite apt too. We do miss a lot of trains in life and live with regrets
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Thanks a lot Suresh… your words mean much to me… 🙂
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Wow!!! Wonderfully crafted…………………
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Thank you…
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Maniparna, you have beautifully packed such strong piercing sentiments in such a short passage. I am moved to say the least.
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Thank you so much Anupam..glad to know you liked it… 🙂
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I felt your writing. You entranced my attention and my heart in this brief glimpse into your character’s life. A poignant moment that changed everything for her. It truly is wonderful. Thank you so very much for sharing it! blessing to you.
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I’m so moved by your kind words…..it feels really nice when someone could touch the chord of the story so rightly… Thank you and blessings to you too… 🙂
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You are most welcome. It is a wonderful process when we pen our emotions into words. Sometimes it is delightful and other times it is heart wrenching but both are soul cleansing. I love to feel the words I read and the words I write. Your writing has that unique and necessary component. I loved it and look forward to reading more of your work! Thank you for sharing it! Blessing poured richly upon you.
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You are such a wonderful person Tina.. 🙂 your words made my day…thank you once again …blessings and ❤
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I am humbled by your praise. I am grateful my comments lifted your spirits. Blessings upon you my dear.
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🙂 …
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Aww, Maniparna 🙂 U made my heart mushy mushy. Hugs & lots of wishes. Good luck if it’s the contest entry.
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A melancholic touch you can say Ruchi… :-P…… BTW , it’s not a contest entry…just a weekly prompt for writing though BlogAdda features the best posts every week… so nice of you to wish me luck.. 🙂 Thanks and TC… 🙂
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🙂 🙂
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well crafted story…beautiful perspective!!!
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Thanks a lot for stopping by and commenting…. 🙂
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A beautifully-woven story! Loved reading it.
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Thank you so much…glad you liked it… 🙂
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Reblogged this on Hadel.
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Thanks a lot for re-blogging…. 🙂
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You are most welcome. 😉
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worth reading and appreciating, nice story
Diary Confessions – 7
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Thanks and welcome to my blog…. 🙂
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Reblogged this on mihran Kalaydjian and commented:
The (t)Rain I Missed
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Thanks a lot again… 🙂
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Beautiful!! very very well written! *applause*
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Thank you so much… and welcome to my blog 🙂 Glad to know you like it….
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Beautifully written.
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Thanks Anoop 🙂 How are you doing ?
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Life is ok, nothing great 🙂
Hope you are doing good too!
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Yes..I’m doing fine too 🙂
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Glad to know that (y)
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Heart touching
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Thanks Chaitali… 🙂
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