The (t)Rain I Missed

· by · in Fiction. ·

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The sudden change in the weather poked the  sun and it began to fade away….from bright yellow to an awkward orange and then a filthy brown, forcing the afternoon to retire earlier. A gust of wind, leaves got wings and the hat was blown from his head. He turned his face, to trace the hat as it had already joined the fleet of  dry leaves and dust. The sudden storm heralded a downpour and the flying hat was enjoying the unprecedented independence. He was almost running to tame his hat. Just then the whistle of the approaching train was heard, I looked up in anticipation, caught a glance of his face and everything disappeared but the station.

A glance and memories surged, as sharp as a blade. Those brown eyes,that deep gaze and aquiline nose.The clock ticked back.

He was not at all willing to shift the base from one city to another. To him that meant shifting of culture and food habit, a gourmet as he was, the latter being always his priority. I was determined not to miss that golden opportunity with an enormous hike and much higher designation.

Was it my pride? Was I demanding more than that the destiny had in store for us ? Was that the reason he left me ?

It was a plight to be parted, even if for a few months. A feeling of fullness encompassed both of our minds whenever we were together. His presence used to inebriate my soul. Those brown eyes, that deep gaze……the synonym of life was love.

We were waiting for his train.”Now please stop making a straight face and give me a quick peck”  were his parting words. I refused for I was fighting hard to conceal my emotions. I wanted to stop him. I wanted to shout frantically saying ” Don’t go, I’m sorry, we’ll live in this city, forever “. But I remained silent. He looked hurt and sad. The train whistled and slowly disappeared in the distance. I cried hard.

That was the last time I cried.

After a few hours the train which He boarded got derailed. No one was alive in his compartment.With stony eyes I identified his body.

I didn’t cry.

Another gust of wind  and a few drops of rain jolted me back to reality.

Whistling again, the serpentine train stopped in vain. The man finally managed his hat and was about to board the train. I looked up at him again. Definitely he had striking resemblance with my man and he was boarding the train. I must smile this time. I waved at him and smiled. Though bewildered, he smiled and waved back.

Large drops of rain were hurling down. I stood up. I wanted to cry…with all my might. I wanted to hide myself in the rain. I started a journey unknown  …….and I missed my train.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

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75 responses to “The (t)Rain I Missed”

  2. Well Mani, Intrigued by the title I was waiting for leisure to read this post of yours…. my wait is rewarded … you have woven a poignant tale… one line which stood out for me AND you also have done it in Italics- This time I must smile… heart wrenching !This one line and this one gesture of her is …. heart wrenching..

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  4. I can write a post full of appreciation for this one. Sorry for bookmarking it and reading it now. Mani i mean the chain thought, the words all gripped me to read till the end. Beautiful, splendid and truly amazing. I want to read more of this now.

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  5. You put a lot into that writing – a very engaging style, keeping the scene sharp and the pace moving by not dwelling too much on added description – but the picture was clear. The tory itself was very good, and I very much liked the not crying after the derailment – to me that was a very deep point, after the earlier sentimentalism. I also thought that was very clever to bring in the passenger that looked like him. That touch of irony is very difficult to do and something I enjoy in writing. Very nicely done, then, scene well-set, atmosphere, tension, and philosophy explored.

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    • Thanks for explaining your views so precisely. Yes, not crying after the derailment was a significant point to me too….for I wanted to convey to the readers her deep shock and misery which petrified all her emotions. Glad you noticed that 🙂 …and also the subtle touch of irony…..

      It brings out the real pleasure of writing when someone appreciates it in such an elaborate fashion….I’m really honoured 🙂

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  6. The title is very catchy T(rain) .. and you have managed both elements very well.. a quick journey form present to past and then again present… its a flow of thoughts showing resemblance with rain fall.. loved the story .. barsat ki ek shaam 🙂 and yes I think I wont ever dare to smile and wave to a stranger 😛

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  11. Well written Maniparna. As Alok said it’s a nice usage of Rain and Train and you put up the ending well. Liked “A gust of wind, leaves got wings” could feel the narration and I also liked “the synonym of life was love.” Good going 🙂

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  21. Maniparna, you have beautifully packed such strong piercing sentiments in such a short passage. I am moved to say the least.

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  22. I felt your writing. You entranced my attention and my heart in this brief glimpse into your character’s life. A poignant moment that changed everything for her. It truly is wonderful. Thank you so very much for sharing it! blessing to you.

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